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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25360738">Short Stories</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiebug445/pseuds/Katiebug445'>Katiebug445</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Short Stories [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Jearmin Week 2019, M/M, jearmintine's day 2021, jearmn week 2020, one shots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:32:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,905</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25360738</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiebug445/pseuds/Katiebug445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of fics, mostly written for ship weeks, that I forgot to post here.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armin Arlert/Jean Kirstein, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Short Stories [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1836559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Armin? Hey, Armin, <em>focus</em>!” <b><br/></b></p>
<p>Armin blinked, the scene around him coming back into view, as well as Jean’s fingers right in front of his nose. “What?” He asked dazedly. </p>
<p>“I completely lost you for a minute there, man. Everything alright?” Jean asked, a tinge of actual concern in his voice. </p>
<p>Armin nodded, tucking his hair behind his ears and trying to force himself back into the moment. “What were we doing?” He asked. </p>
<p>Jean sat back in his seat, a little bit of a pout on his face at Armin forgetting so quickly, and dropped is hands. “I was <em>trying</em> to teach you some French, but obviously you’re not at all interested in learning about my heritage.” </p>
<p>“I am.” Armin promised, leaning his elbows on the table, his cheeks pink. “I am, I promise, I’m just kinda tired, I guess.” He shrugged, his eyes wandering away from Jean and glancing around at all of the other people in the library on their computers, or reading books, or sitting down in the cafe with a cup of coffee. </p>
<p>“Didn’t you sleep last night?” Jean asked, running a hand back through his hair. </p>
<p>“Yeah.” </p>
<p>“Then what’s going on?” </p>
<p>Armin just shrugged, letting his eyes close for just a minute, and let his shoulders relax a bit. “I think I just need a nap or something.” </p>
<p>“Well,” Jean started, scooting Armin’s tablet closer to him. “You can rest later. We have work to do right now.” When Armin sighed, he reached over, flicking him playfully on his nose, and shook his head. “You’re the one who loves to study! You asked <em>me</em> here, remember?” </p>
<p>“I know,” Armin replied, rubbing his nose. “I just didn’t think you’d actually show up.”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Jean yelled, the pout coming back even worse. “You know I’m more reliable than that!” </p>
<p>“Shh!” Armin hushed, chuckling at him a little bit. “We’re in a library, remember? You’ll get us thrown out.” </p>
<p>Jean stuck his tongue out at Armin and folded his arms, his bottom lip jutting out for added effect. “Can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t show up.” </p>
<p>Armin snorted, unable to help himself, and clamped his hand over his mouth, his cheeks even pinker. He hated when he snorted, and even more when Jean heard it. </p>
<p>Jean’s eyes widened a bit when he heard it, and a grin of his own crossed his lips. He loved seeing Armin so flustered; it was cute on him. “God, you’re such a nerd.” He chuckled affectionately.</p>
<p>“Isn’t that a stereotype?” Armin asked, quirking an eyebrow. “That’s kind of rude, you know.”</p>
<p>“I - I was just joking, you know that! I don’t think you’re a nerd. I mean, you are, but not… you know.” Now it was Jean’s turn to blush, and he nervously itched at his own nose, his eyes turned away from Armin. “You’re… a cute nerd. Not a <em>nerd</em> nerd.”</p>
<p>“A cute nerd?” Armin asked, sitting up a little. “What about me makes me a ‘cute’ nerd?” </p>
<p>Jean’s face went from pink to scarlet when Armin asked that, his wide, hazel eyes standing out against the color of his skin. “I don’t know, you just -” Jean cut himself off, the tips of his ears warm, and gestured to Armin himself. “You’re <em>Armin</em>. That’s all I’ve got. You’re<em> Armin</em>, and you’re <em>cute</em> and that’s… just how it is.” </p>
<p>Armin fixed his glasses, just to have something to do, and smiled up at Jean. Jean thought he was cute? What <em>kind</em> of cute? Was he just cute like Historia, or did Jean think he was attractively cute? Judging by the look on his face, Armin guessed the latter. “Does it help that I think you’re cute, too?” </p>
<p>“You think I’m cute?” Jean asked, lowering his hand. </p>
<p>Armin just nodded, his hair slipping into his face again. “Yeah.” </p>
<p>The two boys stared at each other across the table for a moment, faces matching in color, hearts pounding in their chests, and minds racing with possibilities on what all of this could mean. </p>
<p>“Hey we-” </p>
<p>“We should-” </p>
<p>“Sorry.” </p>
<p>“Sorry.” </p>
<p>“What were you saying?” Jean asked, rubbing at his neck again. </p>
<p>“I was just gonna ask if you wanted me to buy you a coffee?” Armin shrugged, his eyes flickering down to the library cafe. </p>
<p>“Uh… you mean like, a date?” </p>
<p>“Why not?” Armin grinned, getting to his feet. “Come on, we can come back up here and study more when we’re done.” </p>
<p>“Okay. It’s - It’s a date!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Kisses in the Dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jearmin week 2019 day 2 - forbidden relationship</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Armin lay awake in his bunk, counting down the minutes, listening for the breathing of his comrades to even out as they all drifted off. Connie’s snores soon filled the air, along with Reiner’s. Shortly afterwards, Bertholdt’s whimpers and the shifting of his sheets as he began his unconscious yoga followed. </p><p><em>Now it’s Eren’s turn</em>. Armin thought, waiting patiently for his friend to nod off. But of course, tonight of all nights, Eren lay awake in the bunk under Armin, gently kicking the bedpost. Quietly, Armin glanced over at the bunk opposite him, barely able to make out the shape of the reason why he was still awake. </p><p>Jean stared back at him in the dark, a finger to his lips, signaling for him to be quiet. Jean carefully climbed down from his bunk, tiptoeing across the floor to the door, and slipped out. To anyone still awake, he guessed it would look like someone just getting up to go to the bathroom. But to anyone still awake, he couldn’t follow him. At least, not right now. </p><p>Armin waited as patiently as he could, his eyes getting heavier the longer he lay there, waiting for Eren and whoever else to drift off. </p><p>He and Jean had been meeting like this for nearly a month, in secret, in the dead of night, just so they could be together without the prying eyes and questions of everyone else. Lord knew what they would do if they found out. If <em>Eren</em> or <em>Connie</em> or anybody else caught them together. He could only imagine the offense Eren would take to knowing that his best friend was in love with his biggest rival. <b><br/>
</b></p><p>Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, Armin figured it would be safe to follow after him. It wouldn’t be too suspicious to get up and innocently wander off to the bathroom now, would it? Armin carefully climbed down from his own bed, trying to make his steps as light as possible as he weaved his way through the dorm, eyes open and looking around for Jean. </p><p>He found him sitting by a window, looking out at the night sky. Armin stopped for just a second to appreciate him, how nice he looked with the moonlight washing over his face, and his tongue swiped across his lips. “It’s me.” He whispered, taking five small steps into the room. </p><p>“Hey,” Jean replied, shifting a little so Armin would have room to sit with him if he wanted. “What took you so long?” <b><br/>
</b></p><p>“Eren was still awake.” Armin murmured, sitting up on the sil beside Jean. “I wasn’t sure if he’d actually fallen asleep or not. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t suspicious.” </p><p>Jean chucked at him, giving him that tiny, genuine smile reserved for nights like this, and reached up to brush his thumb across Armin’s cheek. “You’re too smart for your own good, you know that?” He breathed. “If it were me, I would have followed right after you as soon as you left.” </p><p>“Because I actually <em>care</em> about someone catching us like this?” Armin teased, leaning into the other boy’s touch just a little. </p><p>“I care.” Jean muttered, tilting Armin’s chin up just a little. “I just care about this <em>more</em>.” He leaned in, then, brushing a soft kiss to the blond’s lips. </p><p>Armin’s heart thrummed in his chest at the feeling, and slipped his own hands around the taller boy’s neck, a small, satisfied hum slipping from his mouth. All too soon, Jean was pulling away, knowing they needed to keep those kinds of touches to a minimum. </p><p>When they were on scouting trips, it was so much easier and twice as dangerous to slip off in the night. They could say they couldn’t sleep due to nerves, or go on a patrol, or any number of excuses as to why they were off together in the middle of the night. In the dorms, in <em>safety,</em> it was a bit harder to explain. Especially when they were supposed to not leave their room after 10:00. </p><p>“Someday, I want to just tell everyone the truth.” Armin admitted, reaching over and taking one of Jeans’s hands in his own. He laced their fingers together, keeping his eyes fixed on them while he spoke, and his heart jumped just a little at how nice it felt to have Jean’s weight against him, how nicely their hands fit together like this. “I’d like to just kiss you, or hold your hand, or hell, even <em>sit beside you</em> at meal times. I hate sneaking around.” </p><p>“Go ahead,” Jean started, snorting humorlessly, “if you want Eren to skin both of us.”</p><p>“Eren won’t skin both of us. Just you.” </p><p>“That’s really comforting, Armin.” </p><p>Armin swallowed a laugh and glanced up at the wonderful man beside him, his blue eyes illuminated by the moon, and squeezed his hand. “If he <em>knew</em> you - really knew you - and how sweet you are, he wouldn’t have an issue with this. I know he wouldn’t. He just needs to get to know you.” </p><p>“I don’t <em>want</em> him to.” Jean replied, unable to look at the blond. “Jaeger’s the last person I want getting close to me, the bastard.” </p><p>“Jean,” Armin sighed, his shoulders falling a little. “Eren isn’t that bad of a guy. He’s one of my best friends, and he’s just… protective. That’s all.” </p><p>“I could be protective, too.” Jean pouted. “You don’t need Jaeger for that.” </p><p>Armin rolled his eyes, leaning into Jean’s side and letting his eyes close. “So can I. And maybe I <em>don’t</em> need Eren for that, but I want him around. I want you around, too. Without you both fighting constantly.” <b><br/>
</b></p><p>Jean let out a breath, slipping his arm around Armin, and pulled him a little closer. “Maybe someday.” He said, a nervous twinge in his voice. “Maybe. It’s just… What if we get in trouble?” </p><p>“I-” Armin broke off, not knowing the answer to that. “I don’t know.” He didn’t think Jean would get into too much trouble - he was a natural with ODM gear, and too valuable as a leader for the military to dismiss. Armin, on the other hand, wasn’t. Maybe he could take the fall for them, if things went south. “I can try to find out, though.” </p><p>“Yeah.” Jean replied. “Yeah, I’ll see if I can find anything out, too. But, uh, we should probably go back to bed before people find out we’re missing.” </p><p>With a nod, Armin got to his feet and leaned down to give Jean one more gentle kiss before heading off back to the dorm. </p><p>Jean sighed, leaning back against the window and watching Armin go with a frown. He didn’t like sneaking around, either, but as inconvenient as it was, he was more terrified of what would happen if anyone knew than he was about someone finding him awake at 2 in the morning. He couldn’t bear the thought of Armin being kicked out because of him. He himself, he would be fine, he guessed. He could go back home, make an honest living, but… the thought of being away from Armin, of not knowing what would happen to him, if he was safe, or– something else, was enough to make his stomach roll. He would go insane without being here, of knowing Armin was just a bunk away. </p><p>The thoughts ran around in his head for a long few moments, making him anxious and upset, before he figured it was time to go back to the room himself. Jean got back to his feet and hurried back, climbing up onto his bed and casting one more look at Armin. </p><p>He was still awake, turned to his side and looking at him. He waved, just a tiny bit, and Jean waved back. After that, Armin closed his eyes, curled himself around his pillow, and was asleep in minutes. Jean stayed awake watching him for a little longer, his stomach still upset, before sleep finally overtook him, too. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Summer Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jearmin week 2019 day 3 - Summer Nights</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Do u wanna do something?</em>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
</p><p>The text came through just as the sun was starting to go down, and Armin was sitting in the living room with his grandfather as he read the paper. Armin’s eyes flickered up to the old man, hating to ask if it was okay for him to leave or not, but curious to see what Jean had in mind. He tapped his fingers over the back of his phone, debating on what to reply for a moment. </p><p>
  <em>What do you have in mind? </em>
</p><p>He sent, his thumbs tapping quickly over the screen. “Hey, Grandpa?” Armin spoke, waiting for Jean to answer him. “Jean, um, might come over soon.” </p><p>His grandfather looked up from the paper, then at the clock, before turning to his grandson with a frown. “It’s getting a little late for him to be dropping by, isn’t it?” </p><p>“Maybe a little…” Armin mumbled, about to tell Jean no, when he responded. </p><p>
  <em>Cool. I’ll be there in a few. Be ready 2 go.</em>
</p><p>“I guess we’re going somewhere.” Armin said, getting to his feet and looking for his jacket and shoes. It was only August, but he was beginning to get chilled at night despite the hot days. <b><br/></b></p><p>“You’ll take your phone, won’t you?” His grandfather asked, concerned. </p><p>“Of course.” </p><p>“And you won’t be out too late?” </p><p>“If I can help it.” </p><p>“Be safe, Armin.” </p><p>“I will.” Armin replied, smiling a little. Just in case, he went over to the older man and hugged him before going outside to wait for his friend. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jean showed up a few moments later, hurrying up to the house and grinning when he saw Armin. “Sorry it’s so late. Mom was driving me <em>nuts</em>. I had to get out of there for a bit.” </p><p>“It’s okay.” Armin said, tucking some hair behind his ear. “What do you have in mind?” </p><p>Jean looked around, unable to look Armin in the eyes, and cleared his throat. “Wanna go down to the park?” </p><p>“This late?” <b><br/></b></p><p>“Why not?” Jean shrugged, still avoiding eye contact. “It’ll be safe enough. And if anyone tries to start anything, I’ll kick their ass.” </p><p>Armin smiled, just a little, and led the way down the sidewalk. “I guess you’re right.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Luckily, nobody else had the same idea, and the park was completely empty when they got there, which meant they had their pick of equipment. Unlike when they were young, Armin noted. “I’M CALLING SWINGS!” Jean shouted, taking off at a dead sprint for them, and plopping down on the highest one. </p><p>With a roll of his eyes, Armin followed after him, sitting down on the one next to him with a bit of difficulty. Apparently whoever had come before them was tall, and didn’t appreciate the swings being at a normal height. “It’s so weird to be here this late.” Armin admitted, his feet barely able to touch the ground. </p><p>“Yeah, but it’s kinda nice, isn’t it?” Jean replied, pumping his legs a little to gain some speed. “It’s nice to have the place to ourselves for once.” </p><p>“I guess.” </p><p>“You <em>guess</em>?” </p><p>Armin just shrugged, staring down at his legs. “It doesn’t feel… right. Being here without others hanging around. Like it’s some kind of… portal or something. It feels like there should be some kind of spirit or monster here.” </p><p>Jean stopped swinging for a moment and looked straight ahead, almost as if he was seeing something, then, with a nervous laugh, looked over at Armin. “You, uh, really know how to kinda freak a guy out, you know?” </p><p>“Yeah.” Armin replied, a little dejected. “That’s the thing I’m best at: Freaking everyone out.” <b><br/></b></p><p>“It’s not… a bad thing, Armin.” Jean mumbled. “You just have a big imagination, is all.”</p><p>“Thanks?” </p><p>“Don’t mention it.” </p><p>Armin snorted, letting his feet dangle above the ground for just a moment or two longer before getting up and walking around behind Jean. He pushed his back gently, causing the swing to move a little, and Jean just held on for the ride. “Shouldn’t I be doing this for <em>you</em>?” He asked, turning just a little. </p><p>“Not necessarily.” Armin responded, pushing him again. “I don’t mind doing this.” </p><p>“Well… okay, then.” Jean said, turning back around while Armin pushed him, a small chuckle falling from his lips. It felt so weird to be doing this, to let himself be swung by the blond like this, but he couldn’t deny that it was kind of sweet. And he <em>did</em> kind of enjoy getting a free ride. </p><p>He was going higher and higher on the swing, to the point that Armin actually had to step back a bit to avoid being knocked over, and his hands touched lower and lower down Jean’s back. Every touch sent a small jolt through him, causing him to tense just a bit with every bit of pressure from Armin, and knew eventually… He’d be putting them somewhere else. <b><br/></b></p><p>Could he handle that? He didn’t think he could. Just the <em>idea</em> of Armin’s hands on his butt was making his mouth dry, and he knew he needed to make this stop before it got to that point. “H-Hey, Armin? Can you slow me down? I’m - I’m getting a little high, here.” He said, his voice a little shaky. </p><p>“Yeah, sorry!” Armin replied, stepping out of the way so Jean would lose a bit of momentum, and waited until he was down just a little lower before grabbing the sides of his swing and stopping him all together. A whiff of Jean’s scent hit his nose, and Armin froze there for a moment, leaning over Jean’s back, their hands almost touching on the chains of the swing, and his breath hitting Jean’s neck.  </p><p>Jean was all too aware of how close Armin was, the light pressure of him pressed against his back, his hands, his lips, everything was so <em>close</em> and that, coupled with the balmy, late summer air, was enough to make Jean start to sweat. </p><p>Another second passed without either of them moving, and Jean could clearly see Armin from the corner of his eye, and swallowed. It would be so easy to turn his head and kiss him. But would Armin want him to? </p><p>The blond must have been thinking the same thing, because as soon as Jean thought that, Armin leaned in, brushing a gentle kiss to his cheek. He pulled back immediately afterwards, his cheeks pink, and a slew of apologies falling from his mouth. <b><br/></b></p><p>“It’s… Okay.” Jean replied, a little dazed. He touched the spot where Armin had kissed him, a tiny smile on his face. His heart pounded in his chest, and his hands were sweaty, but he was glad to know Armin felt the same way. </p><p>“M-Maybe… Maybe we should go back.” Armin mumbled, beyond embarrassed with himself. </p><p>“Hey, it’s okay.” Jean said, getting off the swing and walking up to him. “But if you wanna go back, I guess… I guess we can.”</p><p>Armin had no idea what to do. He wanted to stay, but he would have been lying if he said he wasn’t afraid of what might happen if they did, and… it would be better to stop it now. Jean would be leaving for the other side of the country in just under a month for school, and he’d be heading east. It would be best to stop things before they got started. “Let’s head back.” </p><p>“Okay.” Jean breathed, starting to head back. Much to Armin’s dismay, though, Jean slipped his hand into his, holding it in his own while they walked, and he swore he could feel the taller boy’s pulse through his fingers. It… helped a tiny bit, knowing Jean was every bit as nervous as he was. <b><br/></b></p><p>“S-So, uh, Armin?” Jean started, keeping his eyes straight ahead. His face was on fire, and he knew Armin would be able to see it, even in the low light. “Would you, uh, be up for, like… going to get coffee with me tomorrow?” He asked, hating himself for doing so. </p><p>Armin considered it for a moment, half of his head screaming no, but his heart yelling a very loud YES, and shrugged. “I’d like that.” He grinned, looking up at him. “I’d like that a lot.” </p><p>“Cool.” Jean breathed, letting out a relieved breath. “I’ll meet you at your place tomorrow afternoon? We can head out after I get off work?” </p><p>“It’s a date.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Soldier's Wish</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jearmin week 2019 day 5 - historical</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He’d made it through Normandy and Utah beach on the first day. He’d managed to survive the second, third, and fourth days, and nearly six additional months on the front lines of battle. <b><br/></b></p><p>Jean couldn’t <em>believe</em> it. Nearly his entire platoon had been taken out, but somehow, he’d survived with only a shot in the ass. His injury had earned him a purple heart, which he promptly stuck in a comrade’s jacket pocket before they could take what remained of him away. Jean doubted he’d ever forget seeing him step on a mine and go sky high. The memory made him sick to his stomach. </p><p>Connie had been discharged after being shot in the thigh - his time here was over, now, and Jean was happy for him. He’d be going home to his sweetheart: a girl named Sasha that he never shut up about. Marco was the same. He’d lost an arm thanks to a grenade, but he was still alive and going back home to a friend of his named Patrick. </p><p>Thomas, Marlowe, Eld, Gelgar, Olou, and even Commander Smith hadn’t been so lucky. </p><p>The only ones still on the front line from his platoon were himself, and two giant guys from the south - Reiner and Bertholdt. They were decent guys; Jean liked them well enough in boot camp, but Reiner had come through and saved his ass on a number of occasions after they landed. </p><p><b><br/></b>Replacements came in fresh from boot camps all around the country; young, wide-eyed rookies that they’d be replacing again within a month. Jean didn’t bother learning any of their names, or try to pay too much attention to their faces. Best not to get attached to them. That tactic worked well, until he saw one of the new recruits that he recognized. <b><br/></b></p><p>Jean had been on patrol with Bertholdt, shooting the shit and trying their hardest not to think about how any second, any wrong move, and they could be joining their friends in a coffin back home. Bertholdt had pointed at a small cluster of men, and Jean was immediately drawn to a smaller man with close-cropped blond hair, the same shade as–</p><p>The small man turned, feeling eyes on his back, and Jean’s mouth went dry. The hair, the build, the eyes, his <em>nose</em>. All of it was almost exactly how Jean remembered it: the way that silky blond hair felt under his fingers, the way those blue eyes shone in the moonlight when they would sneak off, how he would blush or giggle when he’d kiss his nose…</p><p> It was <em>him</em>. It was <em>Armin</em>. </p><p>He opened his mouth to speak, to say <em>anything</em> to him, but Bertholdt’s nudge to his arm called him back. <b><br/></b></p><p>“You okay, Jean?” He asked, looking down at him worriedly. </p><p>“Fine.” Jean insisted, shooting one more quick look back at Armin, sitting around a small fire with some others. God, what was he <em>doing</em> here? “One of those guys reminded me of someone, is all.” Bertholdt just nodded and said no more. </p><p>The next chance Jean had to speak to him was the following evening, huddled around another fire. Armin was getting ready to do patrol, and Jean jumped up to follow him. “I’ll go.” He said, volunteering himself. “It’ll be safer to have someone experienced along, right?” <b><br/></b></p><p>They set off in silence, not wanting to say too much while they were still in earshot, but Jean was burning with thousands of questions he wanted to ask. How had Armin ended up here? Why wasn’t he still in school? Where… Where was Eren? </p><p>“Armin, how–” </p><p>“I couldn’t stand being home anymore.” Armin interrupted, keeping his voice low. “It was maddening.” </p><p>“I thought you were still in school? Why would you leave?” </p><p>Armin inhaled, his grip on his gun tightening enough that Jean could hear the wood creak just a little, and his eyes became sad. “News comes in every day about how many men are dying. About how badly soldiers are needed here and in the Pacific. Almost everyone we know is gone. Either still here, or there fighting, or…” He paused, his eyes closing for a moment while he stopped the tears rising in his eyes, and took a breath. “There’s been so much death, and nobody knew if you were alive or dead. Your mom, she– Every time the news reports would come in, she’d be at my place, holding my hand, terrified out of her mind. I was, too.” </p><p>Jean stopped in his tracks for just a moment at the mention of his mother, his face screwed up in a homesick look. His mother. She’d written to him several times since he’d been shipped out, but he hadn’t written back. Mostly because he had no idea what to tell her. How <em>could</em> you explain to your mother the things you’d seen in a war, and expect her to sleep at night? They’d all been left unanswered, but he kept them all in his breast pocket, as close to his heart as he could keep them. <b><br/></b></p><p>“I couldn’t - I couldn’t take it anymore.” Armin continued, his voice thin. “Men came and took Mikasa and her family, Eren - Eren took off after them. And you were gone, and I missed you and–” </p><p>“Armin,” Jean started, his heart twisting painfully in his chest. “I missed you, too. I- I wanted to write you back, I know you’ve written letters, it’s just… <em>hard.</em> There’s so much I want to tell you, but… if someone found out, if someone read them… I’d be discharged.” </p><p>“I know.” Armin replied, finally looking up at him. “Why do you think mine are so <em>short</em>?” </p><p>Jean allowed himself a tiny smile and looked around to make sure they were really by themselves before leaning in and brushing a strand of hair from Armin’s face, just like he used to when they were alone. </p><p>Armin’s eyes slipped shut and he leaned into Jean’s touch, a smile of his own tugging at his lips. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you?” He asked. </p><p>“You didn’t have to come all the way to France to tell me.” Jean retorted. “Believe me, the feeling’s mutual.” <b><br/></b></p><p>“You know I’m a romantic.” Armin joked, glancing up at him. “I <em>wanted</em> to come, Jean. I hated being stuck at home, just.. Waiting for that letter. Or waiting to hear that something happened to Eren. I couldn’t stand sitting there anymore. I wanted to feel <em>useful.</em>”</p><p>“You <em>are</em> useful. With that brain of yours, you belong somewhere behind a desk, planning out our next moves, not here. You belong anywhere but here.” </p><p>Armin just shook his head, taking Jean’s hand before he could pull it away, and pressed a gentle kiss to the palm. “I’m here now. This is where they want me.” </p><p>Jean said nothing in response to that, just nodded, and walked beside Armin while they finished their patrol. </p><p>~</p><p>It came in the middle of the night. </p><p>Jean was sitting at the fire with Reiner and Bertholdt, the rest of the men sleeping or on patrol, and talking about life back home. The two of them had the whole rest of their lives planned out, by the sounds of things: Reiner was going to go home and play basketball at Georgia State, and Bertholdt was planning on studying to be a vet. Bertholdt’s father had an apartment lined up and waiting for them, because, as they said, it would be easier to be roommates with someone who got it, rather than explain themselves to a stranger. </p><p>Jean understood it, but he couldn’t help but wonder if there wasn’t another reason under all of that. </p><p>“Maybe we’ll get a cat!” Reiner joked, slapping Bertholdt on the back. “Go ahead and do all the domestic shit while we’re at it!” </p><p>“You say that, but by the time we get home, my uncle’s barn cats will be having kittens.” Bertholdt retorted, giving Reiner a little smile. “I might end up sneaking one home.” </p><p>“And you’ll be taking care of it, too.” Reiner chuckled, returning the look with a smirk. </p><p>Bertholdt just rolled his eyes and smiled a little bigger, drifting off into his own thoughts of his future with Reiner. </p><p>“Well, you two seem to have a long discussion ahead of you.” Jean replied, getting to his feet. “I’m gonna try getting some sleep. See ya.” </p><p>After a quick goodnight, Jean headed off to his foxhole and climbed in, leaning his head back against the dirt and closing his eyes. </p><p>And then a tree exploded three feet away from him. Jean jumped nearly all the way out of his hole, his eyes wide and his breath caught in his throat, wondering what in the hell just happened. A shell whizzed right by his head a second later, hitting a - thankfully empty - foxhole to his left, and the ground exploded and shook around him. “HIT THE DECK!” He screamed, watching the other men scramble for cover. <b><br/></b></p><p>Reiner hurried and got himself into a foxhole, while Bertholdt gathered up their guns and a few other things he didn’t want destroyed. Others scrambled for cover as shells went off all around them, hitting the trees and ground around them. </p><p>Jean’s eyes darted around at all of the faces coming towards him as they ducked into their holes, looking for one in particular. His heart hammered in his ribs when he didn’t see him, wondering if he was out on patrol, or if he’d been hit, or–</p><p>Armin was scrambling. He went for a foxhole close to him, but a shell exploded inside of it, blood and dirt flying up and hitting him in the face. He fell to the ground, and Jean could hear another scream from a shell as it came closer. <em>“ARMIN!”</em> he screamed, pulling himself up out of the ground to grab him. <em>“HERE!” </em></p><p>The blond looked up, and shakily got to his feet, running with every bit of strength he had left. Jean could have cried when he safely dropped into the hole next to him, for just a moment not caring who could see them. He threw his arms around Armin, squeezing him tight and silently letting the tears fall. “Don’t <em>scare </em>me like that, you hear?!” He exclaimed, looking at him with wide eyes. “The hell’s your problem, giving me a heart attack?” </p><p>“Sorry.” Armin replied, every bit as breathless. <b><br/></b></p><p>Jean went to say more, when he heard Reiner screaming. He popped his head back up, seeing the large man half out of his foxhole, his hand reaching for Bertholdt. “BERT, COME ON!” He screamed, terror in his eyes as the other man ran for him. </p><p>A shell went off nearby to where Bertholdt had been standing, and Jean could feel his heart stop. No, no, not Bertholdt, he’d just been talking to him ten minutes ago! He couldn’t be, gone could he? Not that fast.</p><p>As the dust began to settle, they could make out the form of the large man face down in the dirt. Jean felt his heart stop as he watched, praying to any god or angel that was listening for him to move, or say something. Just give any sign that he was still alive. </p><p>Reiner was frozen, still half out of his hole, his arm outstretched for someone that wouldn’t come. His eyes were wide, his mouth open, and his chest heaving for air. For a moment, Jean expected him to fall over dead himself, but Reiner stood, his hand beginning to shake. “Bert?” He called softly, his eyes on the man on the ground. “Bert, hurry.” </p><p>Finally, Jean got a good look at the state Bertholdt was left in. Blood pooled around his legs, bits of boot and uniform scattered around his legs. Even if he <em>was</em> alive, he wouldn’t be for long, like that. <b><br/></b></p><p>Armin began to poke his head up, but Jean forced him down, having to look away himself for a minute. “Don’t-” he choked, closing his eyes. “Don’t look.” Another shell whizzed by overhead, and more screams were heard as they landed on someone else. Jean hunkered down farther in his hole, feeling his lungs begin screaming for air. He couldn’t see, his hands were shaking, his throat was closing up. He glanced up blurrily at Armin, desperate for something - anything - to distract himself with. </p><p>Armin crouched down next to Jean, sliding his hand around his shoulders, and squeezed him as tightly as he could. “We’re gonna get through this.” He promised, breathless. “We’re not gonna be hit.” </p><p>“HELP!” </p><p>That was Reiner. There was no denying the accent. Jean looked up, and the big man had finally moved, crawling his way towards Bertholdt, his eyes half crazed. Jean’s heart slammed in his chest once again, knowing that this wouldn’t end well for either of them. He could hear Reiner mumbling to himself as he made his way to his fallen friend, and Jean’s stomach rolled. </p><p>He couldn’t <em>blame</em> Reiner for it. If it were Armin, he would do the same thing. </p><p>And he’d want help. </p><p>“Fuck!” Jean exclaimed, turning away from them for a moment. He focused instead on Armin, fear bright in his hazel eyes. “I’ve gotta help him.” He said breathily, his head screaming at him to stay put. This went against everything he’d learned. “I can’t - I can’t leave him there.” He met Armin’s eyes, hoping they would convey what he was unable to say on the battlefield, and, quickly, brought his hand to his lips and kissed it - the most he could do right now - before scurrying out of the hole and running over to his friends. <b><br/></b></p><p>“REINER!” He screamed, using what bit of strength he had left to help the big man to his feet, and they hurried their way over to Bertholdt. </p><p>Weak moans were falling from his mouth, and what bit of muscle and skin was left of his legs was twitching almost painfully. Jean’s stomach rolled again, and he had to close his eyes, trying to ignore the panic in Reiner’s voice as he tried to talk to Bertholdt, to get him to say anything. </p><p>“I have to get up.” Bertholdt said eventually. </p><p>“Not right now you’re not.” Jean grunted, helping Reiner carry him over to his foxhole. Both men barely fit in it, and Reiner was slowly covered in his friend’s blood. Jean handed him his first aid kit, praying that he wouldn’t need it before the night was over, and wished Reiner luck in helping keep Bertholdt alive until the medics were safe to come in. </p><p>A shell whizzed overhead, and Jean felt panic seize hold of him once again. He sprinted as fast as he could back to his own hole, diving back inside just as the ground where he’d been standing not ten seconds before went up, causing the ground to shake once again. “Shit.” Jean breathed, feeling sick.</p><p>Panic was beginning to take him again as he realized just how close to death he’d come, and sunk down into his hole again, Armin at his side. “Y-You know, if I - I knew you wanted to come to France so bad… W-We should have come before this.” </p><p>Armin just squeezed him tighter, his own heart beating like a jackhammer in his chest, and scooted over until he was flush against Jean. “Maybe we’ll come back someday. You and me. When things are better. We’ll get a house on the coast, and I’ll write books and you…” <b><br/></b></p><p>“I’ll get a job on a farm or something.” </p><p>“That’ll work.” Armin breathed, a small laugh falling from his lips.<a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F7418893%2Fchapters%2F16850245&amp;t=ZmIyZDEwMWE4OTBjZWZkZjFjYzI1N2QyNmJkZTY1YjUxZDNjMzJiOSx2cjZOeEJGZw%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AT5MtG6OZPi8aNwm7KE5g1g&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fkatiebug445.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F186923379839%2Fa-soldiers-wish&amp;m=1"> “You’ll work on a farm, I’ll write, and we’ll be happy here. We’ll bring your mom with us.” </a></p><p>“We’ll bring Mom.” Jean repeated, slipping his own arm around Armin. “Maybe get a dog.” </p><p>“If that’s what you want, of course.” Armin said, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Jean’s cheek. “But we have to get through today. Just through today, and we’ll be one day closer to living in France. Maybe we’ll even go to Paris someday and spend a few weeks.” </p><p>Jean, despite himself, was beginning to feel a little calmer, imagining life with Armin, away from all of this, in a little house with his mother, happy to just enjoy their lives in peace. It sounded too good to be true, in the heat of all of this, when he could still hear Bertholdt’s cries and Reiner’s shouts for a medic. </p><p>He didn’t want that to be them. He couldn’t handle it if it was. He slipped his own arm around Armin’s slender waist, and held onto him as tight as he could. “I love you.” He mumbled quietly, his hands shaking. “I love you so much.” </p><p>Armin froze beside him, his body tensing up under Jean’s hand, and turned to him with tears in his eyes. “Me too.” He replied, nervous. “I always have.” He leaned in, tilting Jean’s head just a little, and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you more than anything in the world.” He breathed, kissing him again. </p><p>Shells continued to whiz by, striking trees and the ground farther away from them all, and through the whole assault, Jean held tightly to Armin, and the blond held back, praying that they’d made it through to the end of it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: WOOF. that was a long one! thanks to everyone who stuck around to the end. Just to give some reassurance: Bertholdt, Reiner, Jean and Armin all make it out alive and happily go about their lives after the war, just as they all talked about &lt;3 please read Capture</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 13 Years</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jearmin week 2019 day 7 - time skip <br/>contains spoilers</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Summer, 850.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I can’t get it out of my head. The image of Armin laying there on the roof, not one defining feature left on his body. I can still hear him wheezing as he clung to life. I can still remember seeing a flash of Marco’s body as I laid eyes on him. I don’t think I’ll ever get that image out of my head, even as he lays beside me at night, looking just like himself, breathing normally. I still remember.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Summer, 850.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Some nights it’s easier to forget. Nights like tonight, it’s like a slap in the face. Armin hasn’t slept in weeks longer than just a couple hours. Nightmares plague him. Hanji’s tried everything she can think of to help him sleep, I’ve gotten him books, let him read old letters, done everything I remember Mom trying with me when I was young… Nothing helps. Nothing stops the screaming, the panic, or anything that comes with it. He always apologizes, always tells me he’s sorry for waking me up, tells me he knows he should be more accepting of his fate now, now that he knows he’s going to end up being a snack to someone else.<br/>If I have it my way, it won’t happen. I’ll hide him from the world if I have to, until… Well, just until.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Late summer, 850.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Armin’s training began yesterday. Me, Armin, Hanji and a few others are holed up in a cabin up in the mountains, as far away from prying eyes as we can get. Even though we all know, it’s kind of hard to hide the Colossal Titan, even when you’re trying. He never complains about what they have him do, never talks back. Just offers suggestions, and turns it in on himself when things go wrong. It almost makes me miss Jaeger’s constant whining. It makes me wish Armin would whine just a little. If anybody does, he deserves to.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Late summer, 850.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The nightmares keep getting worse. I hear him mumbling in his sleep more often than not, about Bertholdt, or Annie, or dying in general. Once or twice, I’ve caught my own name in there, too. Only when he’s really happy, or really upset. I don’t know what to do for him when he’s like that, except talk to him. I don’t know if he can hear me, or if it helps him at all, but I can’t stop.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Fall, 850.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s starting to get cold. Armin’s taken to stealing my heavier shirts to sleep in now. I’d be annoyed if he didn’t shiver so damn much when he wears his own clothes. Everything is starting to smell like him now. My clothes, my bed, me. I don’t know how to feel about it. I don’t know how he feels about it. If he’s clinging to me just because Eren isn’t around much, or if he just wants to be around me. I don’t know. I never know with him.</em>
</p>
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</p>
<p>
  <em>Fall, 850.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He woke up screaming last night. I don’t know what happened, he won’t tell me, but he woke up screaming in a way that turned my blood cold. He shook, and cried, and told me over and over that he can’t do this. He’s not able to do this. That Erwin should be here, and not him. Hearing him say that felt like a punch to the gut from Captain Levi. I couldn’t breathe. Why does he still doubt himself so much? Why doesn’t he understand how special he is to everyone? To humanity. To me. None of us would be here without him.</em>
</p>
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</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Fall, 850.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Armin transformed today. It’s the first time I’ve seen him as a Titan since the very first time. It was terrifying. Logically, I knew it was him in there, that he’s not going to do anything to hurt us, but part of me still was afraid. Of the titan. Of him. Of all of it. I don’t like it. Even when I was pulling him out of the carcass, it felt unreal, like this was a bad dream and not… not Armin. Even afterwards, seeing his shifter lines marking his face, it felt wrong. It’s hard to see him like that.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Late fall, 850.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Armin is exclusively in my clothes now. He has his own sweaters, but they’re so threadbare, you can see his skin through the fabric in some places. I loaned him half my shirts, but we both know I’m never going to see them again. They belong to him. I’m not as upset by it as I thought I’d be, either. Something about seeing him in oversized shirts, knowing he’s actually able to warm up when he’s not right next to me, it takes some of the irritation out of it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Late fall, 850.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I can’t sleep. His birthday is coming soon, and I wanted to do something for him, especially since we’re stuck up here until winter. I know he’s going nuts, stuck in the cabin day in and out, and I want to help. I talked to Hanji, and she promised he could have the day off, if we wanted to venture out into one of the nearby towns for a bit. I thanked her, but as I was walking off to find him, a thought crossed my mind: How many more times will we get to do this?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The curse has been on my mind since then, what Jaeger said, what Armin’s said. I can’t stop thinking about it. I have thirteen years left with him, if I’m lucky. If nothing happens to one of us before then. If one of us isn’t killed, or eaten before time runs out.</em>
</p>
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</p>
<p>
  <em>November 3rd, 850.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s his birthday. He hasn’t left bed all day. Hanji came this morning and told him not to worry about training today, and he rolled over, and has been on his side since then. I can tell he’s thinking about the same thing I am, that there’s only twelve of these left. Twelve years. It</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>feels like a lifetime away, but also just around the corner. I swear, if it’s one of the last things I do, I want to break this curse, somehow. I don’t want to lose him like this. I don’t know if I can.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>January, 851.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>We’re back in Trost. The experiments went well with Armin, and Hanji and the higher ups are pleased with the data. Jaeger and Mikasa have been all over him since we got back, and I haven’t seen him much at all. I miss him. It’s weird not to have him trailing beside me in the mornings while we go for a walk, or falling asleep next to me at night, or at any period during the day when he’d look over at me and give me that stupid smile of his.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>January, 851.<br/></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I got a letter from my mother today, asking if I’ll go home and see her. I want to go, but not by myself. Not when there’s hundreds of things she’ll ask me, “Where’s your little friend?” being one of them. Out of all the guys in the 104th, she likes Armin the best. I do, too, if I’m honest. She’ll want to know what’s going on with him, and I don’t know if I can tell her without spilling everything. I wonder if he’ll go with me.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>January, 851.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I’m supposed to pick him up tomorrow morning before I head out. He seemed excited enough about it when I asked him to come along, so maybe… Maybe he still wants something to do with me, after all.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>January. 851.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mom knows. I should have known she would figure it out, but… She insisted Armin take my room, that it was the most comfortable bed in the house, and after he went up to bed, she attacked. She asked me what happened with us. I told her I had no idea what she meant by that, and she gave me that look. The one that always scared me to death as a kid. She told me she knew something was wrong, because I didn’t smile as much today. According to her, I always smile around Armin. More than I did even when I was little. I didn’t know what to say. How do you explain to your mom that you’ve lost two people you love to the titans, have one come back, and end up as a titan himself. Add onto it that he doesn’t want to be around you unless he has to be? How do you say that?<br/>I just told her that I’m tired, and it was a long year. Then I went to bed.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>February, 851.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The expeditions beyond the walls will start as soon as the weather breaks. Armin is finally going to see the ocean. I know I should be happy for him, that his dream is finally coming true after everything that’s happened, but I’m not. Not completely, anyway. I want to be with him when he goes. He probably won’t want me to go. Not when his best friends are back.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Late summer, 851.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I can’t get the image of Armin seeing the ocean for the first time out of my head. I’ve never seen him that happy before in my life, and the way his eyes lit up, and his smile… He needs more of that in his life. He needs to feel the way I do whenever I see him more often. I want to take him back.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>November 3rd, 851.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Another birthday gone. I can see it on his face, how much it bothers him. How much it bothers Jaeger, too, knowing the years are ticking away faster and faster. It makes me sick to my stomach. There’s eleven birthdays left, now. I’ve been thinking about it constantly, how fast this will go by, and how soon we’ll be without him. My chest hurts at the idea.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Late summer, 852.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s been two years since Armin was injected with the serum, and all of this began. We’ll be leaving again soon to run more tests, more experiments, more nights up at the cabin. Jaeger’s going too, this time, working as a second test subject with Hanji. It’s a relief, because it means Armin won’t get the brunt of it all now, but I’m not exactly happy. With him here, it won’t be the same as it was before. I know it’s selfish, but part of me was looking forward to having the time with him again.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Late summer, 852.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Armin came into my room last night, crying. He said he couldn’t sleep well, and wasn’t sure anyone else would be up. He crawled into my bed and sat down at the end, curled in a ball. Almost like he was uncomfortable. I asked him what was wrong. He didn’t say anything. I asked him again, and he turned to me with these huge, tear-filled eyes, and crawled up next to me. He never told me what happened, just cried on me until he fell asleep. I feel sick over how happy it made me.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Fall, 852.<br/></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Since that first night, Armin’s been at my side every chance he gets. I never did find out what happened, why he was so upset. But he’s been in better spirits since. It’s nice, familiar, to wake up with his head on my shoulder, his breath on my neck. For a few minutes in the morning, it’s nice to pretend this won’t stop again when we get home, that it’ll always be like this with us from now on. I hate thinking about home now. I hate thinking about how damn lonely it is waking up in bed without him, how cold things are. I’ve never been too bothered by the cold before, but the last few years, I’ve noticed it more and more.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>November 3rd, 852.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Nobody felt like celebrating this year. Least of all Armin. Ten years left.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Spring, 853.<br/></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Armin and I share a bunk now. I don’t know how it happened, but I’m not complaining. I hate how much easier I sleep with him close by, even if he’s not next to me, knowing he’s just above me, makes things a little easier.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Spring, 853.<br/></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>We don’t share a bunk anymore. I’ve woken up too many nights to his screams, I couldn’t take it anymore. I woke up one night to him crying, and that was it. I got out of bed and called to him, telling him to just share with me for the night. He didn’t object. It’s been two weeks, and he crawls in next to me every night now. None of the guys have said anything about it. I think they’re just tired of hearing it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>November 3rd, 853.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Nine years left.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>January, 854.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I’m beginning to notice little things about Armin that I don’t like. Like the wrinkles that don’t go away in his forehead anymore. Or the lines around his eyes and mouth. He looks older than nineteen, and it bothers me. A lot. I see it with Jaeger, too. Is this part of the curse? Is Armin going to grow old without me, in front of my eyes? I hate it. I want to stop it. I need to talk to Jaeger.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Spring, 854.<br/></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Sasha’s dead. Nothing feels real.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Spring, 854.<br/></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Armin found me after the funeral. Connie and Mr. Braus were still at the grave, sharing memories and having a moment to grieve her without interruption. I was wandering the cemetery, and ended up at Marco’s grave. I don’t know how I got there, but my feet took me, and I didn’t object. I hadn’t been there in years, since it first happened. I felt terrible. I read the name on the headstone and the air left my lungs. That’s where Armin found me. He didn’t say a word, not one word, just sat on the ground next to me and let me cry. I told him I was sick of losing best friends. He told me he knew. I told him I couldn’t lose him. He said nothing. We both know it’s impossible. We both know it’s coming one way or another, but out of everyone I’ve lost, out of all the pain I’ve been through. He’s the one that’s going to break me. I think about his eyes, his smile, everything about him, and I know, losing Armin is going to make me lose myself along with him.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. First Sight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Reiberween 2019 prompt 2 - mythical creatures<br/>unfinished, but deserves to be in here anyway</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was old. Incredibly old. He’d seen the rise and fall of rulers and countries, the wars, the wicked rising to power, the way the world had evolved in the last century. Bertholdt had seen every bit of it. He was old. <b><br/></b></p><p>Humans came and went in the blink of an eye, their lives fleeting and fragile, and most of the time he had no use for them. Not until he was hungry, anyways. Most of the time, their lives and their struggles were meaningless to him. </p><p>So why was this particular one different? </p><p>Bertholdt had first seen him leaving a party while he was passing through one evening. Big, burly, and blond, walking down the street to his beat up little car. He was completely alone on the street, everyone either in their homes or at the same party the man had just come from. Surely nobody would notice if he disappeared, would they? </p><p>Bertholdt’s mouth watered, wondering what he tasted like, if he would scream, or put up much of a fight. They always smelled much more appealing when they put up a fight. Blood pumping through every inch of their bodies, the sound pounding deliciously in Bertholdt’s ears as they struggled to get away… </p><p>With as big as this man was, he figured he’d put up quite a fight. Even in the dark, Bertholdt could see his biceps and his pecs straining against his shirt, his giant hands, searching for his keys in his pocket, the cut of his long, strong nose casting a sharp outline in the moonlight… </p><p>He would remember this one for awhile, he thought to himself. </p><p>He stepped just out of the shadows, still half hidden by the tree he’d been behind, and watched him walk. He could smell the man from there, the rich, earthy scent coming off of his skin and clothes filling his nose, making his mouth water even more. He could hardly wait. Just a little closer, he thought to himself. Just a few more steps. </p><p>The man’s phone rang, then, and he stopped in his tracks, answering it. Bertholdt turned his ear closer to him, focusing on listening to the conversation. </p><p>“Rein, when are you coming home?” It was the voice of a girl, young, by the sounds of it. Her voice was scratchy and small, like she was sick. </p><p>“I’m on my way now, Gabs. Don’t worry.” The man - Rein - replied gently. “Want me to pick anything up on the way home?” </p><p>“No.” The child replied, coughing. “Just come home and read me a story.” </p><p>Rein laughed at that, the sound sending a warm, pleasant feeling through Bertholdt’s body, and his golden eyes softened considerably. “Sounds like a plan. Pick one out, I’ll be there soon, alright?” </p><p>“Okay.” </p><p>They hung up after that, and for the first time in his considerably long life, Bertholdt hesitated. He never had cared about the affairs of humans, of their families, of their lives outside of their first and last meetings with Bertholdt Hoover, but this one… was different. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but the way he spoke to the child on the phone, the pure affection in his voice for her, it made him stop. It made him think. </p><p>If there was one thing vampires couldn’t do, it was think. </p><p>Rein put his phone back in his back pocket and successfully retrieved his keys, and Bertholdt turned away to hunt elsewhere. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Notes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jearmintine's Day prompt 2 - high school</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been happening since the last day of January. Every time Armin went to his locker, a note would fall out, a little poem scrawled in messy handwriting inside, and folded up inside of that, would be a valentine’s day card addressed to him. No name was written on it, no indication at all of who was sending them, and it was starting to make him nervous.<b><br/></b></p><p>He knew it wasn’t one of his friends, he knew their handwriting way too well, and besides, why would they do something like that? He knew all the girls well enough in his class to know it wasn’t one of them, but he couldn’t imagine they would leave him poems and cards, anyway. Not when he was very obviously out. But who else would it be?</p><p>Armin had been trying for days to get back to his locker early enough to catch the culprit. He was up out of his seat as soon as the bell rang, and rushed right to it, but he was either too early, or too late. Always. With a huff, Armin would look around for anyone suspicious, anyone walking to or away from his locker, anyone with notes, or cards in their hands, but he never found anyone, and it was getting incredibly frustrating.</p><p>He didn’t want to tell Eren and Mikasa about what was going on, knowing they’d take matters into their own hands to find out who it was, and that, frankly, was more terrifying than any scenario Armin could imagine on his own.</p><p>So, instead, he asked Annie.</p><p>“Annie, please!” Armin said, running after her. “Please, you’re the only one I can ask that won’t overreact! Just hang around for a little bit, see if anyone comes up, and tell me who it is!”</p><p><br/>The blonde turned around, her ice blue eyes hard, and her lips were stretched into a line. “Why should I waste my time bothering with this? I have my own things to worry about.”</p><p>“I’ll bring you donuts on valentine’s day?” Armin offered, still pleading. “All chocolate.”</p><p>Annie’s expression softened just a little hearing that, as she considered it. It would be nice to get some donuts, especially if they were the special chocolate ones she’d been seeing advertised for the holiday… “Can they be from Donut Factory?” She asked.</p><p>“Of course!” Armin said, relieved. “Wherever you want them from.”</p><p>“Fine. When do you want me to do it?”</p><p>“Whenever you can. I-I don’t know when they come by; I’ve tried to catch them, but…”</p><p>Annie tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and stared at the locker. “So this will be an ongoing thing, then?” She guessed.</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, it will. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Make it a full dozen.”</p><p>“Deal.”</p><p>The day passed with no word. Armin kept checking his phone, just in case he missed something from Annie, but his messages sat at the same number they had since he’d woken up that morning: 0.</p><p>With another sigh, he leaned back in his chair at his desk, and shoved his phone back into his pants pocket while he got ready. He barely noticed Jean taking the seat next to him, looking a bit flustered, but still every bit as gorgeous as he always was.</p><p>“Hey,” He said, plopping his too large body down into the chair. “You look upset, what’s up? Not feeling the Valentine’s spirit?”</p><p>Armin glanced over at him, hardly turning his head, and shrugged. “I never have before; why should it start this year? I take it you’re having a blast with all the attention?”</p><p>He didn’t miss Jean’s smirk, or the gentle nudge in his side when Jean handed him a piece of chocolate. “Take it.” He whispered, looking around to make sure none of his admirers could see him. “Seriously. There’s no way in hell I’m eating all of this myself - Mom’ll have a fit if she catches me with so much junk food.”</p><p>Reluctantly, Armin took it, and popped the sweet in his mouth, chewing it quickly so they didn’t get caught with food in class. “Thanks.” He mumbled, a tiny smile on his face while he reached into his bag and pulled out his notebook.</p><p>Jean was quiet too, pulling out another piece of chocolate and eating it, and set another one on Armin’s desk when he wasn’t looking. “So, I hear you have a secret admirer of your own.” He chuckled.</p><p>Armin looked up, his face burning hot, and quickly snatched the treat before Jean could take it back. “How did you hear about that?” He asked, genuinely curious and more than a little embarrassed.</p><p>Jean just shrugged and pulled out another piece. “I hear things.”</p><p>“How did you hear it?”</p><p>“Never you mind, Armin.”</p><p>With another huff, Armin grabbed his chocolate and turned away from Jean, figuring he wouldn’t be getting anything out of him, and turned his full attention to their teacher when she got there.</p><p>~</p><p>Three days later, and Annie still hadn’t gotten back to him about who was leaving notes. They were still coming, still left in his locker when he went to get his things, and somehow had slipped under his friend’s radar. Annie swore she was holding up her end of the bargain, seeing as her precious donuts were on the line, but Armin was beginning to wonder.</p><p>The notes had also started appearing in his mailbox on the weekends, but his mother nor his grandfather could tell him where they came from. Armin had gathered them up and took them to his room, ignoring both of their questions about who they were from, and stuck them with the rest.</p><p>He’d stopped paying attention to the words written on the cards, focusing instead on everything else about them. The handwriting, the envelope, any small detail that could possibly tell him who it was from. He found nothing.</p><p>It was frustrating, and the closer it got, the more aggravated he was getting. Finally, the day before Valentine’s Day, he’d had enough, and decided he was done. It was a Sunday, and he wanted to make sure he got to Annie’s before she left for her morning jog. He parked his bike out front and stepped in, surprised to see one of his friends, half asleep, behind the counter.</p><p>“Patrick?” Armin asked, his eyebrow raised as he headed up. “When did you start working here?”</p><p>The redhead snapped to attention when he heard his name, and tried to make himself look a bit busier than he was. “H-hey, Armin!” He stuttered, running a hand back through his curls. “What’s going on? You’re about the last person I expected to see come in.”</p><p>With a little embarrassed smile, Armin began looking through some of the donuts, trying to think about what Annie might want. “I promised Annie I’d bring her a dozen if she found out who was putting notes in my locker.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah!” Patrick said, brightening up at the mention of Annie. “Reiner was telling me about that, what’s going on? Did you find out who it was?”</p><p>“No.” Armin sighed. “And I’m not going to. It’s probably a joke, anyway. But… I want to keep my promise.”</p><p>Patrick gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing all too well how he felt, and yawned while his friend picked something out. “Well, hey, if you don’t have plans for tomorrow, I think they’re reshowing Bloodytine’s Day downtown, if you want to go? We can gorge our sorrows on over-buttered popcorn and questionable movie theater hot dogs?”</p><p>Armin chuckled as he thought about it, figuring that would be a pretty good idea, if he said so himself. “I’ll talk to Jean, if he miraculously doesn’t have a date, he’ll be in. He loves that movie.”</p><p>“Okay, cool!” Patrick grinned, liking the idea a lot, if he were honest. “Cool, just let me know what’s going on.” While Armin was still looking over the donuts, Patrick blushed a deep red when an idea struck him, and he cleared his throat. “H-hey, you said this is for Annie, right?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Stay here a minute.”</p><p>Armin was about to ask what Patrick was doing, but he took off for the back of the shop before he got a chance. He stood, confused, while he waited for his friend, and wondered what the hell he was up to.</p><p>Patrick came back with a plate full of plastic, yellow holders filled with chocolate cakepops. On closer inspection, he realized they were sunflowers. “Give these to her, alright?” Patrick asked, a pleading tone in his voice Armin couldn’t ignore. “You don’t have to tell her they’re, um, from me, but… yeah.”</p><p>“Sure.” Armin smiled. “Can you put them in a box?”</p><p>After a few moments, and two dozen donuts later, Armin was on his way back home. Annie would be long gone by now, so he told her just to come over when she finished up.</p><p>Armin was pulling his bike up to the house when he saw them. They were tall, slender but built in an athletic sort of way, with a hood pulled up over their face. Armin braked his bike, setting the donuts carefully on the ground, and watched as they slipped a small envelope into his mailbox. “Hey!” He called after them, watching as they jumped and took off.</p><p>Armin jumped off his bike and took off after them, knowing he wouldn’t be able to catch up but wanting to try. “Stop! Please! I just want to talk!” The figure reluctantly stopped, hiding deeper into their jacket, not turning around. “Why are you leaving cards and notes to me?” He asked. “Is it a joke? Because it’s not funny. Just st-”</p><p>“It’s not a joke.” They spoke, and Armin recognized the voice immediately. “It’s not a joke, alright? It’s-” Jean took his hood down and turned, his voice hitching and his face bright red as he admitted it. “It’s not a fucking joke, Armin.”</p><p>“What?” Armin sputtered, looking at Jean with confusion clear in his eyes as he tried to make sense of what Jean was saying. Of course it had to be a joke, right? Why else would Jean be doing this, saying the things he was? He could see Jean, clear as day, leaving those notes in his locker, and going to his other friends afterwards and laughing about it, about his confusion and hope that someone actually liked him. It felt like such a slap in the face. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Jean could barely speak. He stared at Armin, his face hot enough it could melt the snow on the ground, open-mouthed, and tried to think of something to say to him. “It - That’s not - I’m not joking.”</p><p>“But that…” Armin started, thinking about it seriously. It made no sense to him that Jean could be serious about it, that he really meant what he said just then. It almost hurt worse than thinking it was fake. “Why?”</p><p>“Why what?”</p><p>“Just… Why? You’re smart, and funny, and you’re cool as hell. You have tons of friends, and you’re the most handsome person I’ve ever seen in my life, you’re so… good. You’re… perfect. You’re perfect. And I’m not. I-I’m… Armin.” Armin completely deflated after that, still searching for something, some kind of proof, that Jean was messing with him.</p><p>Jean bit his lip, his heart fluttering at hearing that, knowing Armin thought he was handsome and took a step towards him. “What makes you think that I don’t think you’re all of those things, too?” He asked. “Because you are.” A little, embarrassed smile crossed Jean’s face then, and he reached out with freezing cold fingers to brush against Armin’s cheek. “You’re the most handsome person I’ve ever met. And you’re funny, and smart as fuck and… Jesus, Armin, you’re good, too. A little weird, and a little quiet sometimes, but you’re good. A-and… I don’t know.”</p><p>Armin pulled back when Jean’s hand touched him, the cold from his touch making him shiver just from the brief contact, but after taking a breath, he put it back where it was, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. “You don’t have to say that.” He mumbled, focusing on how Jean’s hand fit over his cheek almost perfectly, how his long fingers touched the back of his neck, brushed over his hair, and so badly wanted him to put the other on the other side of his face.</p><p>“I’m not ‘just saying’ it, man.” Jean sighed, a little frustrated. “Haven’t you read any of the cards, or the notes? That explains everything way better than I ever could out loud.”</p><p>Armin shook his head, feeling guilty for not paying more attention. “I thought it was just a joke, I-”</p><p>“It’s not. Just…” Thinking about it for a moment, Jean reached into his pocket and pulled out yet another letter, and thrust it at Armin’s chest. “Don’t… read it right now.” He muttered, his cheeks colored even more now. “Just… read it, alright? I was going to give this to you tomorrow, but I think… since you caught me anyway, you should just have it now.”</p><p>Armin took the letter, deciding to open it right then, despite what Jean said, and quickly read over the words written on the page. Then he read it again, and again, just to cement it into his brain. When he finally was satisfied, he looked up at his friend, not knowing what to say.</p><p>“Look, I know, this has got to be so weird, and I… I don’t know, I was hoping - but don’t worry if you’re not interested, I’ll back off if you’re uncomfortable, I just… wanted… you to know?”</p><p>Armin shook his head before reaching out and pulling Jean in for a tight hug, burying his face in his coat, and breathed in his scent, just as a reminder that this was real. “Would you, um, like to go out tomorrow?” He asked, peeking up at him nervously.</p><p>“Sure! Yeah, sure, I’d love to. I-I’d really love to. Where?”</p><p>“Patrick and I talked about going to see Bloodytine’s Day tomorrow. I thought… you might want to come anyway, if you didn’t have a date.” Armin confessed, finally pulling back, just a little.</p><p>“Oh, hell yes! Yes, we’re going! But what about Patrick?”</p><p>With a grin, Armin turned back to the boxes still sitting by his bike, and chuckled. “Something tells me he’ll end up with a date, too.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Love Confession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jearmin week 2020 day 4 - love confession</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jean stared at Armin as the morning sun shone bright behind him, illuminating every shade of blue in his eyes, and his stomach twisted anxiously, knowing the look on his face. He had an idea. And from the looks of it, a pretty big one. It made him nervous, if he were honest. Armin’s ideas, while they always ended up working in the end, were always such a gamble - mainly to the blonde himself. But, he’d been really lucky with everything else he’d come up with that day, so maybe… this wouldn’t be so bad. </p><p>“I… have a plan.” Armin said, his voice shaking, though with a rare edge of confidence that Jean always loved to see come from him. </p><p>He smiled up at him fondly, relieved for that huge brain of his, as he always was in times like this. “Now you figure it out, idiot? You had me thinking it was over for us.” </p><p>The good feeling died off, though, when Jean heard what exactly the plan was. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like Eren, and even more importantly <em>Armin</em>, putting himself at risk like that. It put them right in the line of danger, without any backup aside from each other, and while he knew he needed to trust them to look out for each other, he worried. </p><p>He worried that something would go wrong, that Eren wouldn’t be careful enough to bring Armin back with him, that Bertholdt would get the better of them somehow, and that would be it. Humanity’s last expedition to win back their territory would fail just like that. Especially since Captain Levi had his hands full elsewhere. </p><p>Too lost in his thoughts and caught up in his worry, Jean didn’t hear the last bit of what Armin said before he was off, relaying the plan to Eren again. As he watched, just out of earshot, something inside of him lurched, and Jean was hit with a fear that this would be the last time he ever saw the boy he’d held the softest spot in his heart for since the day they met. </p><p>He couldn’t hear anything that was being said, but he was watching closely as Armin’s lips moved, could almost be sure of every place where his voice dipped and shook as he waited for Eren’s answer. Jean almost hoped that he would disagree, to tell Armin they couldn’t do that and think of something else, but that hope was quickly shot down when he saw the head of Eren’s titan nod, and his stomach dropped even more.</p><p>Before he knew what was happening, Eren was getting up, towering over the rest of them, and Armin was holding on tight so he didn’t fall. With a lumbering step, they were off, and panic overtook everything else in Jean’s body as he watched them heading for the wall, and an urge to go after them hit him that was too strong to ignore. “Armin!” He screamed, leaping off the roof he was standing on, and quickly began to fly after them as fast as his body would take him. </p><p>“Armin!” He yelled again, hooking his anchor into Eren’s shoulder, terrified out of his mind over what he was about to say. “Listen, I really need to tell you something before you go.” He said, desperation clear in his voice. “It’s… really important.” </p><p>Armin turned to look at him, meeting his eyes with that soul-searching gaze that was often reserved for him, and if Jean didn’t know any better, he swore he was able to read his mind. Jean’s stomach twisted up and he could feel heat rushing to his cheeks under the weight of that stare, and he was the one to break it off first. </p><p>“What is it?” Armin asked him eventually. </p><p>“Can we, uh, take a minute? I don’t… really want to say this in front of Jaeger…” </p><p>Armin shot a quick look back at Eren and chewed on the inside of his cheek while he thought. Jean’s heart raced in his chest as he waited for the answer. The blonde seemed to be conflicted about it, and eventually he sighed and turned back to Jean. “We really need to go.” He explained. “Can we talk about this later on?”<br/><br/>“What? No - I really need to talk to you-” </p><p>“And I need to hurry.” Armin reasoned. “The sooner we get to Bertholdt, the sooner we’ll be back. Just tell me then.” He bit down on the inside of his cheek again, trying his best to keep the smile on his face so Jean didn’t see the reality of his plan. He had a good idea of what it was he had to say, given how flustered he’d looked when he’d shown up, and as badly as Armin wanted to hear him say it, he couldn’t handle it. He needed to stay focused. He couldn’t have something like his heart getting in the way. </p><p>Jean wanted to argue. He wanted to get mad and demand that Armin listen to him, because he wanted to make sure he got to say what was on his heart, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t bring himself to get angry at him right then, when everything was resting so heavily on his shoulders. Instead, Jean just sucked in a sharp breath through his nose and shot him a serious look. “Fine. But you better come back, then!” He told him. “I really need to talk to you.” </p><p>“We’ll be back before you know it.” Armin promised, swallowing quickly, hoping Jean took it as a sign of nerves rather than him fighting back his emotions. He couldn’t break here. He couldn’t risk messing up right then, or lose his resolve. The future of humanity depended on him, on what he was planning to do. </p><p>*</p><p>Jean stood at his post in front of Reiner, trying his best to keep an eye on him, but unable to stop himself from glancing over to where the Colossal Titan was making its way toward where the others were waiting. He knew he couldn’t stand there and watch all day, not when he had a job to focus on, but he couldn’t shut out the voice that was telling him to go after them. </p><p><em>Focus, Jean!</em> He told himself, turning back to Hanji and Mikasa pulled what bit was left of Reiner from his titan, and tried not to grimace as his limbs were cut off. Part of him still felt wrong doing this, that small piece of him that still wanted to believe Reiner and Bertholdt really were their friends, but he did everything he could to push that down, knowing that it wasn’t true.</p><p>The others were saying something, but he couldn’t hear what due to the thoughts screaming too loud in his head. Was Armin okay? Were things going alright for the others? His eyes flickered up to where the Colossal Titan was standing, and for a brief second, he was sure that he’d seen a flash of blonde hair amidst the steam emanating from the titan.</p><p><em>You’re seeing things</em>, he tried to reason with himself, though he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Something felt very, very wrong with this whole thing, but he couldn’t place exactly what it was. Still, though, something about it was making him panic in a way that was different than what he and the others had been experiencing since the night before.</p><p>Something was happening. There was an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, and his heart was racing, and he felt like part of him was being ripped away. Jean gasped, feeling a heavy weight hitting him square in the chest, pressing down on his lungs and cutting off his air for a second. The others looked over at him worriedly, but Jean had no idea what to tell them, if it was possible to reassure them that he was really okay or not. <b><br/></b></p><p>“Hanji, I-” </p><p>Jean was cut off by a sound so faint, he wasn’t sure if he was really hearing it at first. Jean turned back towards where he was sure the noise was coming from, his eyes wide and his heart feeling constrict painfully. He knew that scream. He knew exactly the person it was coming from, and what it meant, and there was nothing he could do to fix it. Jean’s legs wobbled under him and he could do nothing but stare, nothing but watch as one of his worst nightmares came true. </p><p>*</p><p>This had to be a mistake. </p><p>Jean stared at the charred body in front of him, unable to believe it. There was no way this was Armin. There was no way. It was a mistake. Eren had made a mistake. Armin was - he was somewhere else, trying to help out some of the others, that was all. They’d just talked a half hour ago, and Jean hadn’t told him yet. He still had to tell him the truth. </p><p>Eren and Mikasa were both screaming somewhere around him, but he could barely hear it. Armin was fine, he was off somewhere else being a hero, he was fine, he was fine, this was a mistake, he was - </p><p>“That’s <em>Armin!</em>” Eren screamed at Captain Levi. </p><p>* <b><br/></b></p><p>“Jean,” </p><p>He couldn’t respond. He couldn’t do much of anything except go look for him. He had to find him before something happened. </p><p><em>“Jean!”</em> </p><p>Jean finally looked up from the body to see Connie beside him, Sasha on his back and unconscious, looking desperate. “We need to go. Hanji needs us to keep an eye on Reiner, and I need to take care of her.” He said, gesturing to Sasha. </p><p>Jean could feel himself nodding, but his eyes had drifted back to the body once again. What about Armin? He needed to take care of him. Armin had always done such a good job of keeping him safe, he’d always been the first one to protect him, he needed to… he couldn’t just <em>leave</em> him. </p><p>He couldn’t leave him. </p><p>Jean took a step forward, and then another, and another, wanting to go to Armin, to tell him the truth before it was too late, he needed him to know. He raised his foot to take one more step when a hand caught his arm and squeezed tight. <b><br/></b></p><p>“We need to get out of here.” It was Connie, and the tone of his voice sounded about as good as Jean felt. “We don’t want the commander to come after one of us instead.” </p><p>Jean’s eyes filled with tears as he shot one more look to what remained of Armin, his breath caught in his throat and threatening to suffocate him, and let Connie lead him away. </p><p>*</p><p>Jean turned his head away as the titan made its way to the roof where Bertholdt was laying helpless, knowing this had to happen but not wanting to see it, either. He squeezed his eyes shut as their former friend began to scream, bile rising in his throat as they became desperate. </p><p>He made himself count to ten, and by the time he reached eight, it was silent. He could hear the steam beginning to hiss from the body as it stilled, and when he lifted his head again, he saw the familiar form of Armin sticking up from the back of the titan. </p><p>“Oh my god,” He breathed, already on his feet and going after him before he knew what he was doing, and in just another couple seconds, he was on the back of the titan, his arms around Armin’s shoulders and pulling him out. Tears were clouding his vision, but he didn’t care. Armin was alive, and that was all that mattered. “You idiot!” He cried. “You had this planned from the beginning, didn’t you? You never planned on walking away from that!” Armin’s arm was stuck to the titan, and Jean pulled hard, trying his best to free him without hurting him. It dawned on him, then, why Armin had insisted that they talk later - because he didn’t plan on there being a later. He hadn’t wanted to be talked out of what he had in mind, because it would have made him pause and think. Jean couldn’t decide if that made things better or worse.</p><p>“Do you have any idea how bad you scared me?” Jean scolded, unsure if Armin could even hear him or not. “I still have to tell you something, you know. Why would you do that? Why would you go off like that knowing you weren’t coming back without letting me talk? It was important, asshole!”</p><p>The others were making their way over, now, and part of Jean wanted to tell them to go away, so they could have another moment to themselves, but he knew that wasn’t fair. He knew he needed to be quick, to tell Armin what he needed to say, before anyone overheard him. “I wanted to tell you that I love you.” </p><p>Mikasa was the first to reach them, sobbing in relief that Armin was really okay, and, very reluctantly, Jean let Armin go so the others could have a second with him, and before too long, the others were all there, and he was being pushed a little out of the way, but that was fine. As long as Armin was alright, that was fine. </p><p>“We need to get him out of here.” That was Eren, who was already lifting Armin up onto his back. </p><p>A wave of jealousy crashed over Jean and he stepped forward, hand outstretched, and looked over at them pleadingly. “I can take him.” He said softly, looking back at Armin, wanting to hold him, to feel his heart beating against his back as an assurance that things really were okay. “Please?” </p><p>Eren looked up at him with a hard look in his eye, but he was too tired to fight, way too tired. He reluctantly handed Armin back to Jean, and he paused for just a moment as he waited to feel his heartbeat, or his breath against the back of his neck. Armin’s cheek was warm against his shoulder, much unlike he feared it would be, and once he had his assurance, Jean did his best to blink the tears from his eyes before anyone saw. </p><p>He followed behind the others as they made their way up to where Sasha was already being looked after, and gingerly set him down on the bedroll beside her before taking a seat in front of both of them, wanting nothing more than to just stay there until they woke up, and he and Armin could talk properly. </p><p>The mission, for all intents and purposes, had been a success. Shiganshina had been reclaimed, but at the cost of entirely too many lives, of which included over half of the Scouts - both new recruits and old, Vice Captain Moblit Berner, Commander Erwin Smith, and what bit remained of the survivors’ innocence. But the real victory, at least in the heart of a boy from Trost, was that the greatest soldier among all of them, the real hero of humanity, managed to make it out alive. </p><p>Against all odds, Armin had made it out of the battle alive, and with a bit of insight into the enemy and what they had waiting for them despite making the ultimate sacrifice, and that was more than enough to be considered a win to Jean</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Doubling Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jearmin week 2020 day 5 - there was only one bed</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You’ll have to double up for awhile,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was the last thing the newly formed Squad Levi wanted to hear as soon as they walked through the doors of the cottage they would be staying in for the next little while. Hanji had roused them all in the early hours of the morning, telling them all to pack their things, and they were hauled off to a house in the middle of nowhere so they could work on Eren’s titan abilities without too much interference. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was small, a lot smaller than Armin thought could fit all of them, but the Captain was sure they could do it, otherwise they wouldn’t be there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still, though, when Levi spoke, Armin looked up, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed in confusion, at the idea of doubling up. All of them looked at each other, wondering if they’d heard right, and Armin had a sneaking suspicion that one of them was going to be unhappy with the arrangement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He braced himself, waiting for Levi to say that either he or Jean would be sharing with Eren, when Connie decided it for them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I call Jean!” He beamed, grinning over at his friend and looping his arm through the taller boy’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In your dreams,” Jean snorted, knocking Connie in the head before turning to the others. “Hey, Mikasa, if you need someone to share with-“ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>dreams.” Mikasa replied, walking right by Jean and up to Eren, smiling a little to herself as she heard Connie and Sasha laughing behind her. “I’ll share with you.” She offered sweetly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nobody’s sharing with Eren,” Levi explained, rubbing his forehead and already feeling a headache coming on. “He needs to worry about resting up for his training, </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>a girl in his bed.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mikasa glared murderously at Levi, and he returned the look, the tension between the two suffocating everything else until Historia finally got between the two and got the attention on her. “I’ll share with Mikasa, then.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Figuring he needed to be the one to decide things, Levi addressed the kids and pointed to Armin. “Armin, you share with Connie. Sasha, you go with Jean.” He said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jean raised his hand, then, a cocky grin on his face, and asked, “Captain, you were so concerned about Jaeger sharing a bed with a girl, why aren’t you worried about me? We all know I’m way better with the girls than the suicidal blockhead.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Levi said nothing, but shot Jean a knowing look that completely silenced him, a blush in his cheeks knowing he’d been seen through so easily, and he shrank back. “S-sorry, sir. I can share with Sasha.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Levi glanced out the window and noticed that Hanji’s squad was making their way up, and he turned for the door. “I’ll be back in a minute. While I’m gone, you better decide which rooms you’re staying in.” He said. “And make yourselves useful and clean this place up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir!” The kids chorused, standing at attention until the door was closed, and thus began the chorus of complaints from the boys. Armin went to get started cleaning up, not minding all too much, and waved to Mikasa as she and Historia and Sasha went to check things out. He grabbed the broom and began sweeping, trying his best to block out the argument erupting between Jean and Eren, figuring that Connie had it if things got out of hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was just beginning to relax some, when he felt someone grab tight onto his shoulder. “Armin!” Sasha hissed, pushing him out of earshot of the others, and effectively startling the crap out of him. “You have to switch with me!” She pleaded, her brown eyes big and completely serious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“W-why?” Armin asked, taken aback by the assault. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Jean snores!” Sasha blurted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And Connie </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Armin asked incredulously. “He’s the worst one out of all of us left!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sasha looked around, checking to make sure Connie wasn’t listening in, and grabbed Armin by the wrists, squeezing them pleadingly. “And I really want to share with Connie. I’m begging you, I’ll do anything! I’ll even give you my bread tomorrow!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armin shot a quick look back at the others, feeling his stomach flip a little as he watched Jean              bickering with Eren and Connie, and chewed a little at the skin of his lip. Either way, he didn’t mind too much in the grand scheme of things because at the end of the day, his feelings didn’t matter too much, but he couldn’t deny that the idea of sharing a bed with Jean, being that close to him in such a small space, was terrifying in every way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t deny, however, the desperate part of himself that </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>it, and with one more glance in his direction, Armin sighed. “Alright, fine. I’ll take Jean.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armin!” Sasha yelled, pulling him in for a hug tight enough it left him breathless, elated knowing she was getting her way. “You’re a blessing! You have no idea how much I appreciate it knowing I don’t have to put up with his snoring!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell do you mean ‘snoring’, Potato Girl?” Jean asked, pulling Sasha back by the shoulder and glaring dangerously at her. “I don’t snore!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes you do!” Sasha insisted. “And would you </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop </span>
  </em>
  <span>with the ‘Potato Girl’ thing? It was one time!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No can do, Potato Girl.” Jean snorted, just to fire her up. “And what are you trying to tell him, anyway? Armin knows you’re lying; we’ve shared a dorm for long enough by now he knows I don’t!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do, a little.” Armin mumbled, grinning a little to himself as Jean turned to him in shock. “But it’s not that bad! Connie’s way worse than you are!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armin!” Jean cried, looking betrayed. “What even brought it up to begin with?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to sleep with you!” Sasha said, looking up at her friend. “I was asking if Armin would switch with me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She said you snore too much.” Armin added, his lips twitching up at the offended look on Jean’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jean looked between the two of them with bright pink cheeks and a glare on his face. “Fine! Go bunk with Connie, then! I’d much rather sleep with Armin anyway!” He huffed, looking even more irritated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a pause as his words registered to all three of them, and before he could defend himself, Armin went scarlet and Sasha was howling with laughter, all but doubled over as she leaned against Armin. “God, Jean, tell us how you really feel!” She teased. “If I knew you wanted him that badly, you should have told me! I would have snatched Connie up earlier!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armin was so embarrassed he was beginning to feel physically sick, wondering if he was as obvious as he felt about sharing, and he wanted nothing more than to disappear and go sit by himself until he could calm down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jean was looking at him, then, meeting his eyes and looking every single bit as red as Armin himself, and sputtered for a moment before finally saying, “I didn’t mean it like that!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You totally did!” Sasha cackled, slapping him on the arm. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be so red right now!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you </span>
  <em>
    <span>shut up?!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Jean snapped, turning his attention to her just long enough that Armin could slip passed him before he had a chance to apologize. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jean came to find him at dinner time. Armin had been outside, sitting under the sun with a book, and trying desperately not to think too much about what had happened earlier. It hadn’t worked, and after twenty minutes of not absorbing anything he’d been reading, he gave up, and just watched and listened to the birds as they sang in the late afternoon warmth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armin jumped, startled by the sudden voice, and looked up to see Jean standing there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey yourself.” He replied, his cheeks warm and his heart beating hard against his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jean stood beside him, leaning deep into the side of the cottage, and kept his eyes fixed on the same spot Armin was looking at. “I… really didn’t mean it like that.” He mumbled after a moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Armin asked, looking up at him with confusion on his face. “I didn’t hear you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said - look, forget it. I’ll sleep on the floor tonight if you want me to, I don’t care.” He replied, visibly flustered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jean, I’m not kicking you out of your bed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not - Dammit, Armin, I’m trying to be considerate!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, so am I!” Armin replied, getting to his feet and giving him a harsh look. “I’m not making you give up your bed! I’m the one intruding on you!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Jean insisted, getting more and more irritated by the second.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Armin replied, hands up in the air in surrender. “Okay. But I’m not kicking you out of the bed! It was yours first. I don’t mind sleeping on the floor.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That defeats the whole purpose of my argument! If you’re gonna do that, why not just… sleep in one of the chairs?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armin quirked an eyebrow. “Do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>me to sleep in one of the chairs?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NO!” Jean yelled, panicked and worried that Armin would get the wrong idea. “No. I - no. Fuck. No. Just share with me. Nobody’s going to sleep on the damn floor.” He decided, his face red, feeling incredibly embarrassed. “Besides, I… don’t want to be in the room alone with Jaeger, and… it’s easier to be calm when you’re around.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armin’s own face tinged pink when Jean said that, but he smiled and knocked into him with his shoulder. “You know… I think you’re getting a little better at giving compliments.” He teased. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.” Jean muttered, panicking after a second when he realized this wasn’t Sasha or Connie he was talking to. “I-I mean - don’t - don’t shut up! Just… fuck! No, </span>
  <em>
    <span>wait-” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jean broke off there, on account of Armin unable to stop from laughing, and his face went an even deeper shade of red. “Anyway! I came to tell you dinner’s ready, if you’re hungry.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the night went by pretty smoothly, all things considering. Sasha and Connie were happy to share a room with Mikasa and Historia in the larger of the two bedrooms, and Armin, Jean, and Eren were forced into the smaller one across the hall. Eren grumbled about it, but he didn’t stir up as big of a fuss as he could have, and as soon as he laid down, he was out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He got himself settled in the smaller of the two beds, opting to sleep in his clothes, while Armin and Jean both took turns in the bathroom changing. Armin came back first, his pants and shirt clutched tight in his hands, and he stuck them back in his bag before tentatively sitting down on the bed, his cardigan still on to knock the chill off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jean came back after a moment and tossed his clothes on the floor before flopping down onto the bed and jostling Armin from his spot at the very end. “Sorry.” He murmured, looking down at the smaller boy curled up at his feet. “What are you doing down there?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Getting ready to sleep.” Armin answered, shifting to make himself a little more comfortable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armin,” Jean sighed, sitting up and nudging him with his foot. “You’re not sleeping down there.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to be even more uncomfortable if you keep this up. What’s going on in your head?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armin curled a little deeper in on himself, his shoulders hunched and his chin on his knees, not able to bring himself to look over at Jean. “I… don’t know.” He lied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Armin.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armin just sighed, feeling even more uncomfortable than he was before, knowing he had to tell Jean </span>
  <em>
    <span>something. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” He sighed. “I’m - I’m just nervous.” He admitted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jean shot him a confused look at that, not understanding what he had to be nervous about. “Armin - I - come on, I’ve seen you share a bed with Eren before. And you’ve shared with Mikasa, too. You’ve never acted nervous before.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armin hid his face deeper, not wanting to admit the reasons why, and just shook his head. “Forget it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, tell me. Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Do you hate me that much?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Armin yelled, a bit too loud. Eren stirred on the bed beside them, but just rolled over and kicked the blankets off of himself. “No, it’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>any </span>
  </em>
  <span>of that. It’s… because it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>you.</span>
  </em>
  <span> A-and you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>different </span>
  </em>
  <span>from them. T-this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>different </span>
  </em>
  <span>for me, alright?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry…?” Jean blinked, even more confused than he was before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t be.” Armin replied, peeking over at him. “It’s my problem. You haven’t done anything wrong. I promise.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What </span>
  <em>
    <span>problem, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Armin?” Jean asked, not wanting to let it go. “I thought you said-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armin turned to him, then, face red and eyes wide, scared, a look Jean had become all too familiar with in their time together. “It’s because you’re Jean!” He said. “And you’re being too considerate of me, you always are. And you’re cocky, and smart, and really sweet under all of that cockiness, and…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jean blinked again, realization slowly dawning on him why this was so hard for him, and he scooted up so he was sitting next to Armin, his heart racing and his stomach twisting with nervousness. “Well, you’re twice as smart as I am.” He muttered, unable to look over at him. “And you’re too damn modest about it! And you’ve… saved my life more times than I can count. I think that counts as being considerate, right?” When Armin nodded, he continued. “I’m Jean, yeah, but you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>Armin. </span>
  </em>
  <span>If anyone has a reason to be nervous here, it’s me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s there to be nervous about with me?” Armin asked, his nose scrunched up a bit at the thought of Jean being nervous because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just told you!” Jean replied, his own cheeks a bit pink. “You’re… You’re Armin, alright? And you’re really fucking cute when you do that.” He blurted out, gesturing to the blonde’s wrinkled nose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“O-oh…” Armin murmured, blushing even more and feeling his heart racing in his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, ‘oh’.” Jean muttered. “Now can we forget I said that and go to sleep? Please?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armin nodded, and when Jean lay back down on the bed, he scooted up with him, and after a moment, slipped his arm around the taller boy’s middle. “For the record,” he murmured, whispering almost directly in his ear, “you’re pretty cute when you get so flustered.” He settled back down after that, but kept his arm where it was, and closed his eyes. “Night, Jean.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jean’s face was even redder when Armin said that, but knowing he found him cute, too, was just enough of a distraction to point out that he wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>flustered, </span>
  </em>
  <span>because he never </span>
  <em>
    <span>got </span>
  </em>
  <span>flustered. “Night, Armin.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe sharing a bed wouldn’t be so bad after all. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
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